The Gathering

Tao & Defiant Woman

The Weekly Wisdom
December 30

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments
when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."

- Thornton Wilder

Have a wisdom to share?

I suspect you, like me, are feeling the pressure of this holiday season; planning and cooking special family dinners; baking five-thousand cookies to share with friends; negotiating the busy highways to the mall where parking spaces are limited to spots five miles from the main entrance; pushing past all the other shoppers in an effort to procure just the right gift for everyone on your list; and, in your "free" time, sending out what feels like seven thousand holiday cards.

Jolly happens when, as a Tao and defiant woman, you begin to employ your Tao and defiant attitude. Here's how:

· Recognize that you and your body are capable of doing just so much and to push beyond your limits is unreasonable and unfair. Prioritize your “to-do” list and be honest about it. What is truly a “want-to” and what can be categorized as “it’s expected of me so I have-to”? Unless you truly want to do the “have to’s” – don’t. Your co-workers might be disappointed that you didn’t bake twelve dozen cookies for the cookie exchange, but they’ll get over it. After all, wouldn’t they rather have a smiling and relaxed you in the office than a stressed-out baker? You really can go to the local bakery or “club” type store and buy delicious goodies to bring in to work.

· This might be the time to begin new traditions. Changing relationships bring stress to our lives during the holiday season. Elderly parents have passed on or there might have been a divorce in the family. Recognizing these transitions as new paths in your life helps relieve the stress. Forget passed holiday traditions – trying to recreate them now is not only impossible, but painful. Starting a new tradition brings with it the novelty of creation - and that can be fun and exciting.

· The Tao and defiant woman draws strength from her friends. Perhaps you’re facing the daunting task of making a holiday dinner for thirty distant cousins. It’s a good bet that some of your friends are also planning a meal for their extended family. Plan a shopping trip with them to get the fixings, gather in someone’s kitchen and make a play date for the cooking and baking. You’ll work just as hard but it will be so much more fun surrounded by friends.

· Find yourself positive role models. Do you know anyone who appears calm and cheerful during this hectic holiday season? Wonder how she does it? Ask! Learn from the women around you what works and what doesn’t, and incorporate those lessons into your life.

Remember it’s ultimately your decision how to spend the holiday season. Stress comes from feeling overwhelmed by tasks that you “think” you have to perform. Fun holidays are a result of prioritizing, not allowing others to demand more of you than you are capable of giving, sharing with your friends and allowing them to help show us the path to an enjoyable holiday season.

Get that Tao and defiant attitude up and running in full gear and have a truly jolly holiday season!

(much of this article is taken from that which I wrote last year and was requested again by many of you for this year)

Spread the word – please remember to forward this issue of THE GATHERING to your friends!

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...OMG CJ you have no idea what your book has done to me. I work for Susan G Komen for the Cure so when you donated your book The Tao of the Defiant Woman you changed my life. I had to read the book it kept calling my name. So so good. I brought a copy to my BFF she read it and we had to do it. We got the symbol tattooed on our backs. It was the best gift to self for my 30th birthday!!! Awesome!!!
Jenny

... Hey Cj,

I've actually read your book "Tao Of The Defiant Woman" even though im sure its for older women. I believe it really changed me, in a good way. It let me accept my curvaceous, not so small body and to love myself more. i would love to talk with you more.

My good friend Vanessa lent me the book. she told me how much it helped her, and her lively grandmother who gave it to her. I discovered Tao-Girl because I was doing a novel study on your book, it inspired me so much. I made three models. one of a voluptuous curvy woman's body made out of clay. another as a wooden ying yang. and the last a cube with symbols relating to the book.

You have no idea how much that book helped me. I truly feel like I'm growing more and more.

I'm spending time with my family and friends and will gear up for more appearances after the New Year.

I want to take these few final lines to wish you, your family and all those you hold dear a very wonderful and uplifting holiday season and the best in the New Year. See you in 2008!