 |
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
 |
|
|||
|
back to the current month's Gathering
THE GATHERING JUNE 2006 A
Celebration of Tao
and
defiant women
everywhere The
Taogirl Gathering Issue
Number One
Well,
here we are at Issue Number Two and I am so pleased to say that I’ve
gotten very positive feedback after you all received the first I’ve
heard from Taogirls who wanted to share their own stories, or have
comments, questions and suggestions. My
vision for this newsletter was to make it “interactive” so The
Gathering became a collaborative effort; an open forum which allows
everyone to contribute. I
couldn’t be more pleased that so many of you are ready and willing to
participate. One
Marci,you
are quite right. And so,
Taogirls, here’s the scoop: A
Taogirl Group is a group of Taogirls.
I’m not being silly here. If
you are a Taogirl and have friends who are Taogirls and you all want to
come together to experience life and its transitions and challenges
together – well, you are a Taogirl Group!
A
Taogirl Group finds a regular meeting time – be it once a month or more
frequently – when they can meet for the sole purpose of supporting each
other. As you read in last
month’s The
wonderful thing about Taogirl Groups is that there are no rules, per se.
Sure, there must be some order or each meeting might turn rather
chaotic (espcially if that wine is flowing freely).
But most important is the fact that we women be there to nurture,
role model and help ease the path we all must travel. I’d
love to discuss with any of you the formation of your own Taogirl Group
and I bet any of the ongoing groups would be happy to offer advice and
suggestions. Being
part of a Taogirl Group is an amazing experience – I know, because I
belong to one of my own and have been fortunate enough to be a guest at
many others around the country. Feel
free to email and ask about forming a group and let me help you get
started! thepath@taogirl.com C
J This
month’s
Within minutes after
sending out last month’s Newsletter I received an email from
Rhonda M., a Taogirl in “I lost my husband
to colon cancer almost 4 years ago. I never thought that I would be single
and dating again. It has taken some time to find that person that makes me
feel ALIVE again, so, I wanted to let all the ladies know that when we
have given up HOPE, a miracle comes along!
He makes me want to LIVE AGAIN! When
I asked Rhonda if she would share her story with us her immediate response
was: I have so much to
share with the death of my husband and how I have become a stronger and
better person. Single again and dating…..that is enough to write about!
I think that sharing stories helps you cope with everyday life. Introducing------Rhonda
C
J: I cannot imagine the emotional and physical toll your husband’s
illness and passing took upon you. How did you cope during that very
difficult time? Rhonda: Our son was the main reason why I had to cope with what I was about to face. I had to be strong for the whole family and I found an inner strength that I never knew existed. C
J: Was there any one particular belief system that kept you going? Rhonda:
At the time, I thought that my belief in GOD was non existent. How could
he take my husband of 17 years away from my son and me. However, as time
passed, I realized that he had a plan and I had to accept what that was.
To this day, I am still unsure of Why and What his plans are for me, but,
I am looking forward to a promising future!
C
J: Was there a support system of friends or family to whom you could turn?
Rhonda:
My family, friends &
co-workers were their whenever I needed them. I want to take this time out
to thank my mother who was always there by my side. But most importantly,
my son came home one day from school and decided to quit the football team
so that he could help. My husband and I have been blessed with a wonderful
son and in my heart I know that he watches over him.
C
J: At what point in the years subsequent to your husband’s passing did
you begin to date again? Rhonda:
About a 1 ½ after his passing
that I decided that I just couldn’t sit home, lie in bed and feel like
the world didn’t exist or better yet, that I didn’t exist!
C
J: What is it that propelled you to do so?
Rhonda:
My husband and I had a
discussion one day. I can remember it so clearly, he told me that he
wanted me to find happiness and that he knew that I would make another man
proud to call me his wife again. C
J: Are there role models to whom you could look for encouragement? Rhonda:
There is only one person that
comes to mind and that is best friend Maggie. Maggie and I have been
friends now for 19 years. She was the one that I turned to when I thought
that my life was not worth living. Maggie kept things in prospective for
me and kept reminding me that I have a son that needs his mother and I had
to be strong for him. The one thing that I learned is that you can think
that you have friends, but, do you really know the meaning of TRUE
FRIENDSHIP? For me, I have found that in her!
Rhonda and Maggie C
J: Now that you are back on the dating scene is it different than it was
before you first had met your husband? And, if so, in what ways? Rhonda:
Yes.
When I dated back in the 80’s, we could go to a dance club and meet
a decent person. From my experience today, the bar scene is a meat market!
To be perfectly honest, I don’t remember having to play games when I was
dating back then. But, then again, I was young and hadn’t had much
experience to know the difference. This became apparent when I started
online dating. Some men, not all, are only looking for a one night stand
rather then being in a committed relationship. Also, keep in mind that in
your 40’s and dating, you are dealing with “baggage”. Instead of
moving forward, men continue living in the past rather then moving
forward. When a good woman like me comes along, they have a hard time
believing that there are still some of us left in this world that believe
in the true sacrament of marriage.
C
J: In what ways is the “dating scene” the same?
Rhonda:
It still all about having fun
whether it be going to dinner, movies and just getting to know that
person. C
J: You wrote that you have become a stronger and better person.
How so? Rhonda:
When the doctor walked through
the waiting room and sat down to tell me “I’m sorry to tell you that
the cancer has spread to all his major organs and he only has six months
to live”, at that very moment, I knew that I was about to take on a role
that I was not prepared for. I spent everyday with my husband, Jimmy,
watching a man that I have loved for more then 17 years fade away from me.
I now took on the role as my husbands nurse. I dressed him, changed his
diapers, administer drugs to take his pain away and that point, I then
realize how STRONG I had become. Each day that I wake
up, I know in my heart that I made a difference in my husband’s life.
But, how sad is that….that you lose the death of a loved one to become
that better person? C
J: You wanted to share your story with others so you might be of help to
them. Do you recognize what a
strong and positive role model you are to others? Rhonda:
Funny you should ask that
question…..! I remember one day, my friend at work received a phone call
from her husband. I overheard the conversation and he called just to tell
her how his day was and that he loved her. At that moment, she said
goodbye and hung up the phone. I turned to her and said, “you need to
call your husband back and tell him how much she loved him because there
might not be a tomorrow”! C
J: What would you tell a woman who has recently become widowed or divorced
about the future and the possibilities it holds? Rhonda: I am not going to lie to you; it will be the most difficult time in your life! You need to keep yourself focused and don’t lose sight of who you were before a death or a divorce. Don’t allow your friends and family to tell you what to do; ONLY YOU will be able to make those decisions! Once time goes by, you will decide what changes you need to make to feel good about YOU! With all the changes that have taken place in American courtship, everyone agrees once you find it, nothing beats true love! C
J: Is there anything you’d like to share that I haven’t thought to ask
within these questions? Rhonda:
The one lesson that took me
awhile to learn was that I was now in control of my own destiny. Rhonda
had to make decisions on her own without her spouse. Making my own
decisions is another way of how I grew into becoming a stronger and better
woman. I don’t know what my future holds, but, I am looking forward to
it for the first time! Remember, you are
exceptional; you are distinctive; you are matchless; you are rare; you are
brilliant; you are special; you are extraordinary; you are excellent; you
are an individual you are UNIQUE!
My final thought….We
as humans take life for granted, so why do we have to wait to change our
lives?
Rhonda
Thank
you, Rhonda, for your open, honest, compassionate and encouraging words.
Thank you for being a Taogirl! -
C J I’d
love to hear from all of you Taogirls out there.
Please email and let me share your story with our readers. www.taogirl.com TAOGIRL WISDOM OF THE
MONTH
"The only way out is
through"
Carl Jung It’s often
difficult to find one’s way “through.” What situation have you found
yourself in the midst of, knowing that you had to forge ahead? Think
about this, send me an email and let me share your story with our Taogirl
readers. It’s
?
time Taogirl
loves hearing from you – if you have a question or comment send it in.
Today
I’m on my own with a response, but if you want to add your own thoughts
to my answer, or discuss the question, please send in your comments and
I’ll post them in the next newsletter. Is
there a way to unite the yin and yang?...I
see so much literature and general attention paid to women and women's
issues in media as well as new women's movements popping up all the time
but I rarely see groups that arise that bring women and men together --
yin and yang -- non-exclusive groups for all to enjoy.
MY
RESPONSE TO CARA...I
agree with you that there is room in our society for more open
communication between the sexes. You
are fortunate that your husband is your best friend.
My husband, Joe, is certainly my best friend, too.
That being said, I still feel the need for female support and
encouragement. It is only my
Taogirlfriends who truly understand my emotional life.
And I believe that is true for most, if not all, women out there.
We women have the ability to communicate on a personal and
different level – understanding each other’s sensitivities and needs.
After all, so many of our experiences are not exclusive to each of
us – we have all shared many of the same transitions and challenges.
True, the men in our lives also face the joys and frustrations that
we find on our paths, but not necessarily in quite the same manner as we
do. We are made of different
“stuff”, we men and women, and our thoughts and emotions reflect that.
Yes, your husband can sympathize with your burdens and share in
your joys, but he can’t emphasize – he hasn’t “been there, done
that” quite like your girlfriends have. That, dear Taogirl, is why I encourage women to
gather in Taogirl Groups. It
is not meant to exclude the wonderful men in our lives but rather to
enhance our experiences with another (and I believe very important) route
to guide us along our paths. Dear
Taogirls, Cara
has said to me that she is eager to hear not only my response to her
question, but that of other Taogirls, as well. Please
help me honor her request and send me an email with your thoughts on this
topic so I can post it in The Thank
you, C
J On the road again……… Here’s where I plan to be in July
HOME! I intend to spend time
writing, being with my kids (especially my daughter who is coming in all
the way from But I never know when a
last minute booking – either in person, radio or t.v. – will appear.
So please check the travels page of the website for updates. http://www.taogirl.com/taotravels.htm This is also the perfect
time for me to plan late summer and fall workshops and speaking events –
if any of you Taogirls know of a group that would like to have me come
visit – please let me know! I love being able to send you THE TAOGIRL GATHERING
and look forward to hearing from you and having you participate every
month. The success of the
GATHERING and the success of TAOGIRL depends on all of us working together
to spread the word. Please
help me by becoming an active contributor with your questions, comments,
Taogirl Group news and ideas on how to expand the scope of the
publication. My gratitude goes to Rhonda and Cara for so openly
sharing their stories, comments and questions with us this month.
Your words bring support and encouragement to all of us and I am
proud to know you. Thank you for being such remarkable Taogirl role
models! To view past issues of The Gathering click on the issue you would like to see:
june06
july06
august06
september06
october06
november06
december06
|
|
|||
|
For information, or to share your thoughts and wisdom with us: thepath@taogirl.com
|
|
|||
Artwork
and design by: Woof Designs www.woofdesigns.com |
|
|||
